Amazed...

I took this title from one of the song title that had been given from my friend around last week i think. Since yesterday I just listen to this song again, but i don't know why...the song sounds really different since yesterday. Sounds really calm, cool, and really peaceful when the voice comes to my ears and it ends in my heart.

And without any particular reason, since this morning until now actually, i just listen only this one song. If it can, I think my iPod will be scream, because i always repeat to the same song..hahaha...

But when i listening to this song, i don't know why, it just bring me more deeper into a worship ambience inside my heart and start filling up my heart with the lyrics, "Lord, i'm amazed by You...Lord, i'm amazed by You...Lord, i'm amazed by You...How You love me..."...and it began like a prayer from me to Him. Just reflect all things that happened in my life for past half year....and i'm really really amazed about how He love me.....even during this time, i know all this things happened because He is letting it happened in my life, but sometimes i felt like i'm very tired to facing all the problems in my life, sometimes i cannot stand any more to walk even to look at Him and say a little prayer to Him. But deep deep inside my heart, i know that i cannot stay away from Him too far, and i never angry or complaining to Him for what happened in my life, because i also know, it happened because of my sin and my mistakes..so i just take what i deserved and just continuing my journey in Him...

Since few month a go, i just feel that i'm too tired to walk again...too tired to carry all the burdens in my life...and i know ( again ), it's because i'm just too far from Him...just feel that i want give Him a shout just only for a help to rise me up again, but it feels like i dont have any strength to do that..one i just feel that i'm very tired...

Today, He just really really amazed me...after He using that song to touch my heart again, He using one of my friend from young adult ministry at St. Mary of the Angels Parish to sent me His message through Facebook...It's just like a prophecy for me actually, she said, "God has given you a wonderful gift of wisdom to recognise His presence in everything because everything you see with the eyes of faith in Jesus will only turn to good. You are truly blessed..."

I hope it can really encourage to those who read this blog also...because what i've already experienced, a quote that He never let us go...It's totally true!! AS LONG AS we keep our focus in Him also. Because His promise never fails...Emmanuel...He always be with us...


"God works with those who love him, those who have been called in accordance with his purpose, and turns EVERYTHING to their good." Romans 8:28

One Year Reflection….

“…when we are walking in the desert alone, that’s the time when we start learn how to shout for help to Him and willing to surrender everything to God, letting His become ours…”

Again another one year has passed away in my life. One year with so many adventure in my life with Him alone, adventure in the sense of going through this life with all ups and downs, hurts and joys, tears and laughter’s, falls and rise again, Living alone in another country alone, it is not an easy way actually. Especially for the first time experience being alone, far away from family, and your loved ones…

Feels like being in a retreat for the last one year…living in a west coast of Singapore, where there’s still a lot of hill and so many green area especially in front of the place where I living now, that’s make me feel more like living in a retreat season for last one year. Feels like being a clay in a burning place, burn with all the problems that strikes me for last one year…but I realized, all the things that already happen in my life, its all according to His will and also formed me as a better person each days, as a better person that knows he’s not alone, but he has a good friend that always be there for him…

Just remember the story two of my favorite guys in the bible, David and Moses…
Those two guys have a similar hard times, it’s just like one of a seasons in their life also, and being prepared with God to be His tools, a leader for His people.,
David have his hard times when Saul chase him around because of he’s jealous to David’s popularity. Even Saul chased not only for catch him but also for kill him.
Moses have his hard times when he must walking in the desert alone, and after he running out his water and food that he brought, he almost died.

I am not saying that God is prepare me as a leader or something…I don’t even know what He’s trying to tell me with all that happened before in my life, what I feel it’s just that I know, I learned how to always run to Him everyday, even always in a different way, but I learned how to always put all my hope in Him, learned how to put my heart in His presence everyday.

I learned also to stay in a silence in the presence of God, in front of Blessed Sacrament, now become my favorite place to run, down to my knee and cry. A place to rest my heart down, a place to put all my mind and all my thought down, a place where I can really feel that He is here, everywhere, beside me, inside me, a place to enjoying the time with Him alone and put all the crowded things that I have inside…

I don’t want to share all the problems that I’ve passed before one by one, but what I want to share is the greatness of God, His faithfulness to me…
Share that it’s not me who can go through all of this…but He is, my Lord and my God alone…

Have a blessed day…